Emergency! Spam

This week I was getting meny spams alerting me to various emergencys, such as:

* Garage door open, come and look!
* Lost my cellphone, you seen it?
* FIRE HERE!, no phone
* Have video of you and that lady, shall I continue?
* Man downstairs feeling bad, can you help?
* Come deal with this printer!
* Saw you dog on a street
* Bike crashed your car!
* Sandy will sue you!
* Boss is enraged, avoid him today!